the trick is to keep breathing

Hey, new blog layout! Like it? I don't...not yet. I am not so much a fan of the colors. But I needed something that didn't clash with my keen new header photo. That is the eponymous midwestern magnolia, in our front yard, still hanging on to a bloom or two despite the lateness of the year. That will probably end tomorrow, in the rain and wind, come to think of it.

So....I promised a post about finding life balance, right? Well. I have no secret...no epiphany here. I think that, if I achieve this at all, it will be through a series of fits and starts. All I've got are some moments that I know are right. The St. Paul trip was one of those. And this morning was another. This was scribbled on a notepad earlier today...

I awoke to two insistent children, and equally insistent work emails...and oh yes, the clamor of dishes needing to be done, carpets to be vacuumed, and so on. I could have put in a DVD and had two hours of work time....but I also awoke, as many of us did, to sunshine and 70 degree weather. So I spent my morning and early afternoon sitting on a blanket in my back yard, watching Matthew and Benjamin play, and being fully there as their mom. What moments felt right? Well...

--Matthew's excitement (ok, and to be honest, mine) at watching the first of the small planes fly overhead en route to the air show. This is my favorite weekend of the summer--the very first Manitowoc event we attended was the airshow in 2006. Ever since then, this signals summer to me. And also--very fast, loud planes are, well, cool. I suppose I am betraying some ecologist principals by saying that--oh, the pollution! The fossil fuel consumption!--but I can't help it. Later this evening, as one of the prop planes practices flips and loops, Matthew exclaimed, "I didn't know planes could do that!!" So cool.

--Benjamin finally overcoming his trepidation toward all things lawn/grass and taking off across the yard, giggling all the way.

--Matthew bringing me "something you want", in his words--dandelions and other assorted wildflowers.

--Matthew bringing me a pretend bowl of ice cream, from the ice cream store (a precursor to our actual trip to the ice cream store).

--Having a moment to read and laugh--and cry--along with Michael Perry's Coop.

Now, lest I appear to be attempting the blog version of a Rockwell painting, let me illustrate why things are always...interesting...around here. While Matthew was pretending to bring me ice cream, he informed me that "you must eat your food before you can have ice cream." Since we were in the realm of the imaginary, I barely even thought before murmuring "Of course I will, sweetheart," while engrossed in a particularly compelling chapter involving the perils of purchasing ones first feeder pigs. I was jolted back to the present by my son presenting me with a 1 lb bag of frozen, shredded, mozzerella.

"Matthew, what are you doing?"

"You said you'd eat your food before having ice cream!"

I am relieved to say, the mozzerella found its way back to the freezer...all 1 lb of it.

Later, the kids will nap, and I will tackle work and clean in anticipation of visiting friends old and new(er). For now, I will sit back, and enjoy being in the moment, remembering that Shirley Manson and co. were onto something...the trick, sometimes, is to keep breathing.